FED-EX (End Of The Federline? Oops She Did It Again, etc. etc.)

Britney Spears has finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel and has filed for divorce from the artist (and I use the term, “artist” loosely) simply known as a joke, Kevin Federline. It was reported as long ago as June (2006) that Britney was moving forward with a divorce case.

The scandal driven tabloid, The News of the World reported that, “Britney has already started seeing lawyers about splitting with Kevin. She is serious about it and even though she's pregnant she knows that she has to get things moving. It's a very stressful time for her at the moment what with expecting her second baby.”

She has since declared in court papers that she and Federline have no, “community assets” which practically confirms the already well documented fact that they had a prenuptial agreement which also means that the final settlement doesn't have to be disclosed to the court hearing (and of course, more importantly) the general public.

(Allegedly) Leaked Pre-Nuptial Agreement for Kevin Federline & Britney Spears.

• Kevin Federline won't be entitled to penny of Britney's money. (Ha, Ha Fucking Ha)
• The mansion will be divided 50/50.
• Any gift given worth over $10,000 will go back to the original purchaser. This includes a custom-built motorcycle Brit gave K-Fed for Christmas 2 years ago.
• She will still support him for a little while longer. Brit will pay Kevin $30,000 a month for the period of time that is half the length of their marriage. (Meaning he'll be well sorted until at least a year from now.)
• Britney Spears won't pay child support. (As father of the year Kevin Federline is still responsible for supporting his other two children with previous baby momma Shar Jackson, whom he deserted whilst pregnant with HIS child)
• Any wedding gift worth over $10,000 goes back to purchaser. That means Kevin can say goodbye to his cars, bikes, life etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

Britney Spears surfaced on Tuesday (7 th Oct 2006) at New York's Rockefeller Centre just hours after filing the papers for her divorce in Los Angeles, and proceeded to apparently have a whale of a time ice skating!!

Britney Spears, now 24 years old (my, doesn't the time fly) cited “irreconcilable differences” in court papers seeking dissolution of her marriage to plastic gangsta'/wanna'be rapper Kevin Federline. I think we can (safely) assume that she is referring to the fact that Kevin Federline is a fucking idiot.

Britney Spears looked somewhat relieved while she was skating, probably because she has finally closed the book on the Federline chapter of her life, a chapter that has been amazingly well documented by the media. However, they have nobody to blame but themselves as after the success of, “Newlyweds” featuring Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, the media machine kicked into full gear as the doomed couple released their own fly on the wall documentary series entitled, “Britney & Kevin: Idioticc Chaotic”

It was also just a matter of hours –after filing for divorce- that Britney Spears made a surprise appearance on David Letterman's “Late Show” in New York by popping up behind him as he was sitting at his desk

Kevin Federline appeared in the 2004 movie “You Got Served” and performed as a backup dancer for Timberlake, Pink and Michael Jackson. He released his debut CD, “Playing With Fire,” on Oct. 31. And in an interview with The Associated Press two weeks ago, he praised Spears as a positive force in his life.

“Her influence on me has been really big,” he said. “She's a strong woman and she knows what she wants out of life and that helps build a strong man. I look up to you baby.”

Always the last to know eh Kev?

Born in Kentwood, La., in 1981, Britney Spears got her first taste of fame at tender age of 11 when she joined the “The All New Mickey Mouse Club” TV show. Along side her fellow Mouseketeers, which famously (and ironically) included future superstars Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera.

Five years after Spears left the show she released her debut album, “Baby One More Time.” In the video for the title track, Spears, still a teenager, dressed provocatively in a skimpy school uniform and moaned “Baby, baby, baby.”

But Britney Spears declared (and advocated) her chastity, claiming that she was still a virgin throughout her four-year relationship with Timberlake. However in 2003 the lying cow revealed that she lost he virginity to Justin Timberlake, (surpise, surprise).

Britney Spears married Kevin Federline in autumn, 2004. (Court papers state that the couple was officially married October 6 th )

Kevin Federline was still dating his pregnant girlfriend Shar Jackson when he met the pop star. Shar Jackson gave birth to Kevin's second child just a couple of months before he married Britney Spears. (And also missed his other sons first birthday)

It was the second marriage for Spears, whose 55-hour union with childhood friend Jason Alexander ended in annulment.

Spears and Federline have two children: Sean Preston, who turned 1 on Sept. 14, 2005, and an infant son, Jayden James, born Sept. 12. Britney Spears is seeking “legal and physical” custody of both.

I posted a video of, “Lose Control” on YouTube quite a while ago, the accompanying text read as follows,

“MUST see: generic, bubblegum rap, disposable cheese on toast bollocks that Britney's poorer half has unleashed on us. It's like Vanilla Ice impersonating Justin Timberlake, very badly.........”

So, on that -out of tune- note, if you fancy a laugh at someone else expense or if you are quite simply a masochist then follow the link below to see Fed-Ex grab his fifteen minutes of fame firmly with both hands and then proceed to wring every last ounce of life from it.

Watch Lose Control, Kevin Federline.

(Kevin Federline, Eternally known as Britney's Ex...........)